It’s bedtime!


My six year old has always been a good sleeper but in the past few months she has joined that wide-eyed terrifying group of children who will do anything to delay going to sleep.

The best I ever heard was a friend’s little boy who on the way up the stairs stopped and said: “Mummy this is a really lovely bannister – where did you get it from?”! As a delaying tactic it had it all – a compliment, a question and 100% cute factor – pure genius! Needless to say it didn’t work… My little one hasn’t developed such a canny set of one-liners yet, but in the space of a couple of nights here are all the things she shouted from her bed in the hour after we put her down to sleep:

  • I’m thirsty
  • I’m hungry
  • My tummy hurts
  • There’s a funny noise
  • Are you still upstairs mummy?
  • Is daddy upstairs?
  • When are you going to bed?
  • What are you having for tea?
  • I need a wee
  • I need a cuddle
  • I need to tell you something (proceeds to wrack brain for something to say)
  • It’s too light
  • It’s too dark
  • I’m too hot
  • My covers have fallen off
  • My teddies aren’t sitting in the right places
  • It’s Billy Bob’s (favourite teddy and fifth member of the family) birthday tomorrow
  • When I get home from school tomorrow can I have spaghetti?
  • I can’t find Sparkle (who turns out to be a cuddly cat we haven’t laid eyes on or cared about for months)
  • There’s a fly in my room
  • There’s a spider on my face (to be fair this one was true and it was a massive spider – Bear Grylls would have been proud of Megan’s ability to stay in bed, not screaming, with the beast!)
  • Is it school tomorrow?
  • Can you leave the lounge door open?
  • I love you mummy!
  • My answer to them all has varied (how can you possibly refuse a request for a cuddle or not respond to the last one with “I love you too”? but without fail every response has ended with “Now GO TO SLEEP!” I’d love to hear some of the creative excuses other people’s little ones have come up with to put off the inevitable – as well as any suggestions for more creative mummy responses!

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