So your little one is about to start school – how will you cope without them? How will they cope without you? Before you start volunteering to be a school reader or dinner supervisor just so you can stay close to your offspring here’s a quick list of the positives of getting your life back from 9am-3.30pm, Monday-Friday.
- You can eat your lunch in front of This Morning or Loose Women – meal times are no longer dictated by CBeebies’ Andy singing “What’s on your plate?” and you can actually eat something that hasn’t been previously rustled up by Katie on “I can cook”
- Talking of lunch – you get to eat a whole meal – no sharing with a little one who wants a bite of everything on your plate before you’ve tried it
- You can also eat what you want, when you want. Chocolate for lunch, sandwich at 2pm? Why not go the whole hog and have a whole day without a fruit or vegetable – no one will ever know!
- You can drink cups of tea whilst they are still hot
- You can talk to friends, or browse social media without feeling guilty or turning deaf ear to the constant cries of “mummy”
- You may actually get to see the promised land (otherwise known as the bottom of the ironing basket)
- Remember newspapers and books? Now you can enjoy reading without putting on silly voices, pressing buttons, finding hidden characters and singing songs
- Old cereal boxes and loo roll tubes can go straight in the recycling bin without first being made into a space rocket
- You can listen to Radio 2 in the car – no need for endless renditions of Wheels on the Bus
- The park is a great place for a relaxing walk or maybe a jog – just remember to give a sympathetic smile to all those poor parents still having to push a swing or feed the ducks
- Remember shopping? Not for food or toys but for adult clothes? You can actually go into shops and changing rooms and browse at leisure without worrying about tantrums and whines of ‘I’m bored’
- When you stub your toe, bang your head or stand on some Lego you can swear like a trooper – no more “sugar” or “for Pete’s sake”!
And the best things is you get to enjoy all these things until 3.30pm when you realise you have missed your child so much it hurts. You run to gather them up from the school gate, desperate to find out about their day and hear how they have missed you too. “So what did you do today?” you ask. “Can’t remember” comes the reply (every day!) “What’s for tea?” You needn’t have worried – normal service has been resumed!